Caring for Your Friend’s Natural Hair

I’m sure you’re thinking, “What? Did you mean to type ‘Friend’s’? Why would I care for my friend’s natural hair?” Well, I totally meant to type friends. Since I decided to stop relaxing my hair, my friends have made some…er…mistakes when it comes to my hair. So, in order to keep all parties civil, I thought I’d share some of them so others do not make the same mistakes! Mostly this is just funny, but people really don’t know any better…

1. If your friend tells you that she/he no longer shampoos their hair, do NOT look at them like they are nasty, homeless, or have grown an extra head. With a good scalp scrub and other natural cleansers, sulfate shampoos are absolutely unnecessary. Also, if they are using natural products that do not cause build up, they don’t need to use a strong surfactant to get clean hair. Now – if they tell you that and you can smell them coming from a mile away, please have an intervention…

2. Do not pet/touch their hair, especially if it is wet or without asking. What are they, a dog? Also, if their hair is wet, your little rendezvous in their hair might leave it a frizzy mess later on. Would you do that to a friend? I’d hope not.

3. If they are currently rocking an afro, do not call them Soul Sista, Grace Jones, a Black Panther, or anything like that. Like, seriously? It’s hair. It’s their hair. What does that have to do with any of the nicknames mentioned?

4. If they’ve stopped straightening their hair or getting relaxers, don’t ask them when they are going to “do” their hair. I did mine this morning, what about you? And don’t give them the name of your stylist or offer to make them an appointment. Come on son…

5. If you liked their hair better the way it was before and it’s a good friend, by all means, feel free to tell them (that’s what friends are for, right?). However…be prepared for potential backlash…

6. If you’re getting married, do not request they they straighten their hair for your wedding.Β  Shame on you.

7. If they start putting food in their hair, do not be alarmed. Mayo, honey, olive oil, coconut oil, yogurt, avocado and other foods are all awesome for hair. But…if they start putting ice cream or ground beef in their hair…you got it, intervention time.

8. Do not be alarmed at the growing number of hair products in their bathroom. They are probably experimenting to figure out what works best for them. Hair is work – let them work!

9. Please refrain from using terms like “good hair,” “bad hair,” and “nappy.” I mean…you can say whatever you want, but if their next question is, “What did the five fingers say to the face?” you might want to duck…

10. Lastly, if they offer you products or tips on how to care for your hair (this is really for the men), try them out! I have a bunch of my guy friends cowashing and using natural products, and they have told me that their hair has never never been softer. Get it boo!!

9 comments

  1. Hi! I just wanted to tell you I love your blog! You’re hilarious. I’m moodydove on naturally curly, btw.

    1. Hey, thanks so much! πŸ™‚ Did you also notice I’m like master stalker on Naturally Curly? Can’t go a day without it!

  2. Yes good advice, Elle. I think we all have to be accepting to one’s choices and not sometimes question or expect others to refute their decisions. It is all a learning process. Sometimes the fears of others speak before their ability to full understand comes forth. It has always been this conception that natural hair women equals to being in an afro. An afro being equaled to a rebel. In the 70s some black women did away with the straightening of the hair and realize the beauty from curls to ignore the myths and realize the beauty in beliefs in our splendid world of being natural.

    I really had some people to be accepting to my natural hair and one college friend in particular who was like yeah Right On about me keeping it in the curls. She would tell me and frown upon me if she caught me with straight hair. Sometimes what she saw deep within, I allowed my own frustration to get the best of me. I had coworkers instead of friends to frown upon my hair as well as staff members above me. I kept wearing it natural. Did not give up on my look. It challenges others also to be understanding as well as being sensitive.

    on rule #2 I hate it. I had TWICE people to pet my hair more like my head when it was dry. I wanted to sucka punch them. I would not even accept this if it was my own best friend. Somehow I feel it’s quite demeaning. You definitely don’t pet people’s head like they are a “good girl” or some pet. Give human being hugs not pets. Hilarious.

    on #4 I was asked what happened to my hair when I went into to volunteer one day. Something I feel I should not have to explain when I change it. As if I to feel wrong by letting it be curly instead of straight? Really now.

    on #10 my younger brother text me what to use as for shampoo and oil for dry scalp? I put him up to the natural as well. I hope he follows my advice. Educating others bring forth awareness.

    Great post. Enlightenment. πŸ™‚

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