You Curl Loosening Self Hater!

LOL. Okay, just kidding. Doesn’t that sound crazy though? How many times have you gotten in a debate over texturizers when someone jumps in talking about the curl loosening effects of color, henna, or even hair products or braid outs?! When this happens, I kind of sit there with my head tilted to the side giving a hearty side eye. First off, let me say that I have NO PROBLEM with relaxers or texturizers WHATSOEVER. I think that some women like straight hair, and some women want a significantly looser curl pattern. That’s cool. However, I have seen some women tell a bit of a fib and don’t own up to the fact that they have a texturizer – you know, the women who have “natural hair” yet perm their roots so they can slick them down easier, or they just don’t mention it at all and swear up and down they got their hair to look like that from a magical product (cough cough, Miss Jessie’s). Now this, I take issue with. Why are you going to lie? Just say you have a texturizer, no one cares! One of my favorite hair idols, Jasika Nicole, has a texturizer. When I first found this out, admittedly, I was a little disappointed (only because I thought it was natural), but I got over it because her hair looks healthy and yummy. Love her!

The retort that henna/color can also loosen curl pattern is simply silly as well. Yes, these treatments can loosen texture, but it is often not significant and is not guaranteed (I have never seen a 4b go to a 3b from dye or henna). On the other hand, the purpose of relaxers and texturizers is to loosen the curl pattern. Like, you can’t get a texturizer without changing it. If you did, ask for your money back. Furthermore, I don’t see a lot of women lying about dyeing or henna’ing their hair (Well maybe covering greys? I dunno, I’ll let you know about that in 10 years or so.). The chemical reactions you get with these treatments are different from that of a relaxer/texturizer, so why do people even bring this up? Why do people bring up heat either? Heat can also loosen pattern, but am I going to tell a woman she is no longer natural because she straightens a few times a year? Not at all…Is curl loosening that much of an issue for people??

My personal take on curl loosening is…who cares? To be totally honest, shrinkage is a major pet peeve for most naturals, and we have spent so much time caring for our hair to grow it out, wouldn’t you want to show that (healthy) length? I’ve seen many tightly coiled ladies live and die by their braid outs b/c they want to show their 12 inches of hair rather than have it shrink up to a 2 inch afro. And they look fierce! But are they going to sit there and act like they didn’t do a braid out? No!

Back to my own personal motto – “Just don’t look to’ up,” whatever you do to your hair. Rock it, and be proud of your hair – relaxer, texturizer, color, style, anything. Remember, it is YOUR hair, not the world’s.

So what do you all think?

19 thoughts on “You Curl Loosening Self Hater!

  1. Carla Rose says:

    I’ve been natural my entire life and I’ve never seen such judgement about what we do to our hair until recent years. Feeling like you have to justify every move is absurd. I henna my hair because as someone with finer strands, I rather strengthen my hair, risk losing some curl rather than constant deal with breakage. Thankfully it did not loosen my pattern and I’ve been using it for a while now. If it did, oh well!

  2. Jasmin says:

    IMO, it’s nobody’s business what I have in my hair or what my “natural texture” is or is not.. And, anyone who is rude enough to ask deserves whatever answer I feel like giving them. WHY, OH WHY do American women feel like they have an obligation to “:fess up” to other women all the time about every #$^%& thing? We have no mystique! It’s sooo BORING! Many women don’t want to know these things because they are truly interested, they just want to get the goods on you. YOUR hair is YOUR business.

  3. Kisses4me says:

    I have been natural the majority of my life, getting a relaxer only after I graduated high school. Currently I am natural. I am very familiar with my hair texture & I can say 100% truthfully that when I colored my natural hair in high school my texture DEFINITELY didn’t change. I wish, lol, kiddin’…sort of. But no, no change at all. The first time I colored, I used one of those awful box color kits, Dark & Lovely, I think. And a couple of years later, I had it professionally colored & still, NO texture change. So to say I am not natural because my hair color changed is, in my opinion, ludicrous! I mean, where does the ridiculous end…”you put some moisturizer in your hair so you’re not all natural because now your curls are moist” or “you cowashed with that & now your natural frizz is gone so you’re not embracing your natural hair texture”…SHEESH!!! Furthermore, I really think it depends on that particular person’s hair & their hair’s ability to tolerate color, henna, etc. Some people’s hair can be real sensitive to ANY kind of products applied to it, especially coloring or using henna, hence, the change in texture.

  4. Vida Starr says:

    I hear what you are sayin but I’m still pretty convinced that even wanting that look is linked into some deep seeded desire to have “good hair.”

    But it’s just my opinion… and my motto is “Everyone is entitled to MY opinion.” LOL


  5. Vida Starr says:

    Unless you are texlaxing for a particular reason like it’s your job to play a certain character or model or somethin and they powers that be want a certain look, you might have some self hate issues. Especially if you walkin around frontin like your hair naturally grows that way.

    • HB says:

      SMH, you would say that! I’m going to have to disagree – I think that some women texlax b/c they want to have loose curly hair as their hairstyle and for easy wash n gos. However, yes, I am very concerned if they lie about it!

  6. Courtney says:

    Personally, I love henna on my hair. My hair is really fine and kinky. Henna thickens my strands and gives me a more defined curl pattern. It does have a tendency to make my hair feel a bit crunchy for a couple of washes after a treatment, but I guess it’s the protien-like effects of it.

  7. ItsJustMe says:

    The more deep conditioning treatments I did, the more the curl came back. Thank God it was only a little piece in the front. I can tell it’s reverting because the heat damaged ends are straight/wavy, while the henna-ed ends are curly, the middle straight, and the roots curly.
    Speaking of porosity and texture, I’m still tryna figure that one out. Guess my strands are fine since the henna knocked the curl outta them (literally). Porosity though? Urgh *insert headache here*

    • HB says:

      The porosity test is fun! Take a piece of fresh hair – I just used a shed hair from a wash – let it dry, and put it in a glass of water. If it floats, you have low porosity, if it sinks, your porosity is high…and if it does something in the middle (finks or sloats), it’s normal porosity.

  8. ItsJustMe says:

    I just looked up Jasika Nicole and she’s pretty. Please dont be offended but to me you look like her in a way ^-^
    I’m gonna admit, when the few naturals I know come up to me telling me they want a (insert chemical here) I do tell them about the loosening curl effects because I know these ladies probably didnt do their research. I just feel like a good friend if I “warned” them, if that makes any sense.
    What does annoy me however is when they try to justify it and make excuses. Heffa, did I asked? Why you explaining YOUR hair to me? Did I consult YOU before going natural?
    I only did Henna once and never again because the curl looked damn near straight, and that was confusing me with my heat damaged parts =/

    • HB says:

      No offense taken, I love her!

      And I do agree with you about them giving you a retort if you warn them…and that’s interesting your curls loosened that much with henna! I dunno, my hair doesn’t loosen (I feel like Izzy can withstand anything lol, I don’t think she wanted to be relaxed either) – maybe because I have low porosity and my hair is med/coarse. The only diff in my before color/henna pics is my hair was much shorter when I first colored (it was in May) and now the color is diff. I would be pissed if my curls were almost straight, but people say they come back right?

  9. Shawny says:

    Its so tiring at the end that I gave up trying to figure it out. I love henna but not because it loosens my hair, it was pissing me off to say the least that after a henna treatment my twist out looked nothing like it usually does. My hair wouldnt hold the twists at all. My hair was darn near straight. Like I always say get in where you fit in. If you want a texturizer go for it, if you want to textlax it go for it , but dont lie about the after effect. Dont have newbies thinking wow , my hair will look just like that if I use such and such

  10. Toni says:

    As soon as I big chopped, I dyed my hair. My edges were completely gone due to the last perm and I had to hid the weakness somehow (I don’t plan on dyeing it again so I’m letting it grow out). I remember a lady coming up to me and saying I was a lie to naturals cause of the dye. Umm, sure. To me, your hair is your hair. Do whatever you want to it cause it’s not on my head and I’m not paying for whatever your doing to it.

    • HB says:

      A lie to naturals?! Sheesh! To me I feel as if being natural refers to curl pattern/texture, not color. Women of all races dye their hair so I don’t understand why women get all up in arms when a Black person does it. When I White woman dyes her hair dark brown is she trying to look more “urban”? Nope, so I don’t see what the big deal is. And even if you dye your hair straight up blonde, it doesn’t make you look White…so I just don’t get it.

  11. Casarae Gibson says:

    In my opinion the reason why I went natural is because I wanted my original hair texture back. Since I have a better understanding of how to take care of my natural hair texture I have no intention on reverting back to chemicals (i.e. relaxer). It is a person’s choice to do whatever they want to with their hair. I don’t knock relaxers or texturizers because I use to rock a relaxer so I know boths sides of the spectrum. However, I have refrained from using henna and other products that (may) loosen my curl pattern because I love my nappy texture. Now 5 years from now that may change, but for now I rather see shrinkage than to know that when I redo my hair, my curl pattern has changed. I have fine textured hair and henna is suppose to thicken my tresses via reading Curly Nikki who had fine textured hair at one point in her life. She does mention that her curl pattern loosened up a little bit and her pictures over time show this. So for me it is a matter of losing my kink which at this point I worked to hard to obtain. To each her own.


    • HB says:

      I can see that POV as well. I was really scared to color my hair b/c I didn’t want to loosen my texture, but then I got bored (lol) and it didn’t loosen it anyway, so it was all good!

      • Casarae Gibson says:

        Lol. I thought the post was an interesting take on the topic. I plan to post a similar article on my blog about the topic because I think it is a very interesting topic that not only women of African descent face, but also women of other ethnic groups as well.

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