10 comments

  1. Okay, I’m totally feeling what you’re saying here, but as a newbie to the natural haircare forum-world, and naturallycurly in particular, I’m going to try to play devil’s advocate here. I remember the first time I read the title of a thread that specifically called out for a poster (e.g. “____ please read”…something along those lines) the first thought that came to my mind was, isn’t that what pm’s are for, and I didn’t bother even going into the thread. To be honest, I still ignore threads that have personal invitations attached them, and to be fair, I also ignore threads with vague titles period, but I digress. Anyway, with that said, when I stepped back from my initial knee-jerk reaction, I did come to the conclusion that you presented in your video: it’s a matter of knowing that your hair likes similar things to some other poster.

    Another thing, I think the idea of cliques comes from some posters misunderstanding what you appropriately call camaraderie as a group of posters just cosigning each other and occasionally ganging up on/clowning one person they don’t agree with. Whether a poster views it as camaraderie or clique-ish really boils down to a poster’s mindset, sensitivity and maturity level. I don’t think adults should approach cyberspace with a school-girl/boy mentality: the forum isn’t a playground, there are no teams, and newbies aren’t waiting with bated breath in line to be first-pick.

    I doubt you’ve noticed, but I tend to steer clear of all that madness on naturallycurly. I learned my lessons about forums years ago on a Whitney fan forum, lol. I come for the hair tips, pretty pics, and occasional laugh, but when topics go off-road and I see the cliff in the horizon, I turn right back into a voyeur and grab my orville redenbacher.

    btw: i don’t know anything about the specific summerruby drama you were addressing. my post here is more general.

    1. Thank you for your opinion, and I totally see what you are saying! I think you hit the nail on the head regarding a poster’s mindset and how they interpret interactions and posts on the board. I DEFINITELY can see why someone would think they are being ganged up on, but at the same time, we are all posting as individuals, not a group. I’m not sitting right by a poster in my apt while we laugh it up and egg someone on. So, if one person says something ridiculous and no one agrees with them, more often than not, there is going to be a group expressing dissent, rather than one person. Like, just because I talk to someone on the board and we are “friends,” after they disagree that doesn’t mean that I no longer need to post. Some people on the board act like everyone is PM’ing behind the scenes and there is a master ringleader telling everyone else what to say. For me, lol, that’s a little much, and a bit paranoid.

      I was referring to the board in general as well – there has been more than one poster claiming that they’ve gotten ganged up on by a “clique,” but the funny thing is that most of the time, the person posts something INCREDIBLY inflammatory or rude! And it’s like, what do you expect? That people were going to give you a thumbs up? Another poster came on and said something like, “Alcohol is pathetic…” and went on this crazy judgmental tirade about how people are stupid for drinking. Obviously, there’s more than one person who drinks in the thread, so a bunch of people responded to her. Now, she was completely oblivious as to what she said and how some people could give her the side eye over it, yet blamed the reaction on the fact that she was a newbie. Like, seriously?! She even went as far as to say that she hopes enough newbies come to the board and “take over” so they can get rid of the “riff raff.” What kind of craziness is that?!?!

      I don’t blame you for keeping behind the scenes with your popcorn – sometimes, I can’t even deal with it, and I pop some too and watch the fireworks fly!

  2. I get enough psycho, backstabbing drama working in a salon. I go to hair boards for support and to feed my product addictions. Ugh.

  3. so, yeah. the chick in question, SummerRuby, deleted all of her profiles on every natural hair board including her blog… just in time for Christmas (and for me to read her BITCH blog post).

    1. OOOH, I didn’t know she deleted it! It was still up last night. Hmmm…what’s the point of getting gully then back tracking? Oh well, I’m glad she deleted it, it was totally uncalled for.

  4. LOL!

    Man oh man! There is more drama in the natural hair community. I thought it was going to be all rainbows and unicorns when I chopped my hair :). Either you are too natural, not natural enough, or jealous because the person that made your youtube channel is growing their business and you ain’t. *side eye*

    Honestly, I think that there will always be some element of drama on any boards (hair, fitness, gossip, politics, etc)…The illusion of anonymity gives people the cajones to straight kirk out on b.s.

    This is the reason that I lurk and don’t post. People are crazy. One minute you are beefing with a girl on the internet. The next minute she is standing at your door with a knife to your chest….No sirreee! I’ll just sit back and observe and cackle at the funnies.

    Mick

    P.S. I love your hair!

    1. YEEEEES, this! I’m really thinking that some of these chicks are unstable. Someone got banned from my hair board and came back SIX TIMES with different screen names to start more drama! It was nuts! I definitely keep my chain lock on my door!

      And thank you for the compliment!

  5. Girl… stay out of that mess….Thats just what it is mess. Your to sharp for that, you speak well it seems you have your stuff together, It seems you have direction and a good head on your shoulder.

    And looooove the glasses BTW, sharp!

    zainab1
    AuNaturale007.blogspot.com

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