Janelle Monae Just Gave Me My LIFE, Y’all

Listen. I don’t even write about things that aren’t usually reviews or have something to do with beauty, nutrition, or hair. But I would be doing myself a disservice if I didn’t post this to share with you all. My edges are snatched and have grown back at the same time. My makeup is instantly slaying, I have a six pack now, and my skin is radiant. Janelle. JANELLE. This is everything. I’m in tears.

Quest for the Perfect Curl/dupeBLACK Pre-Event Survey

Hey everyone! So I was all excited about planning a game night around my new trivia games, which include Insecure and A Different World, and then I thought…how cool would it be to have trivia with everyone? Now, I’m not totally sure this is feasible, so I’d like your help with planning. Please take my event survey here. I’ll keep it open until October 20th.


Thank you! xoxo

A List of Reading Material for Bill Cosby Supporters

So I know that my blog isn’t about celebrity criminal cases, but as a self-proclaimed feminist, and have written about feminist issues before, I can’t let this go. I have read and heard the MOST tomfoolery about Cosby in his defense and I can’t with his supporters, I can’t. I’ve taken on this new mentality that I don’t want to react to people, but some of the theories and defenses I’ve seen are too much. I know that our elders didn’t get hosed for this. The NBC argument…you have to stop. It’s true, Cosby did try to get a group of investors together to buy NBC, but this was YEARS ago. Also, do you really know how much NBC costs? Re: my Google search (sorry I don’t know the CEO of NBC), it’s upwards of $30 billion dollars?!?!? You think that Bill has that scrilla to drop? Stop it. I’ve heard people compare Cosby to the death of Tamir Rice and Obama being called a Muslim! A lot of these people sound like Tea Partiers now. This post is not meant to debate whether he is innocent or guilty, but some of the responses and principles I’ve seen can be addressed in the below books. ┬áThink what you want to think, but I’ve compiled a list of reading materials for Cosby supporters that may┬ábe beneficial:

  • Hush: Moving From Silence to Healing After Childhood Sexual Abuse – Of course, the women who are accusing Cosby are not children, but I’ve seen several counts of people wondering why they didn’t come forward when the assault first happened or opinions of what THEY would do when they were raped. Newsflash, people who are raped (men and women) react in different ways, there is no one RIGHT way to act when it happens to you. I was surprised to see self-admitted victims of rape dismiss the allegations because that was not how they reacted when they were raped.
  • Asking For It: The Alarming Rise of Rape Culture and What We Can Do About It – Bill Cosby has 50+ accusers saying that he raped, sexually violated, or assaulted them in some way. While I understand that “just believing” the allegations can be dangerous, this says a lot about our rape culture in the US. Often, we point the finger at the drunk (or drugged) person saying they shouldn’t have had that much or shouldn’t have done that. Or, we think they’re simply lying. This has to stop, and it comes from a culture of overall disrespect for people who aren’t “wholesome.” It’s okay to rape a “whore,” if she was drunk “that’s her fault.” We live in this obtuse society that thinks it’s okay to attack people “lesser than,” and it’s got to stop. It’s not about what we can assume the women “knew what to expect” due to their meetings with Cosby. The slut shaming rebuttal is harmful and dismissive of something that’s serious.
  • Full Frontal Feminism: A Young Woman’s Guide to Why Feminism Should Matter – Honestly, I have a love-hate relationship with this book. While I think it’s educational and important, some of her opinions seem that you’re stupid or misinformed if you stray from her own. Some of them are downright radical. Well too bad, I’m old(er), no one is going to tell me what my feminism should be, but she has several good points about the patriarchy in America and what we can do to combat it. It has several points that reveal how we’ve come to this society and have certain perceptions of women and equality, and I think it’s a valuable resource. But remember, feminism, like so many things, is not cut and dry, this is her take on it. This plays into the notions of how women should act and their lack of being “upstanding” women, allowing themselves to be taken advantage of by Cosby, and also discusses power of the patriarchy and why he’s never been charged until now.
  • If I Did It: Confessions of a Killer: Look, I know that murder and rape are completely different, but I think these cases are VERY similar because when OJ went to trial, there was a call for black people getting the “good” end of the law as white people did. I can’t lie, I was in middle school and they played the trial, and the black kids cheered when OJ was acquitted. We KNEW he did it, we didn’t care though because we’ve seen black people get the short end of the stick SO many times. But as an adult, I look back on it and know that it wasn’t right, it was a fantasy. We look at grim situations of black men and women in society and we think, that just ONE time, we should win. But this isn’t an excuse to uphold crime, or predation. This is not a time we have to win.

So, whether you are a Cosby supporter or not, please at least observe the facts and how this is psychologically rooted, and what principles come into play. It’s not black and white, cut and dry. This isn’t a case of being woke or listening to hearsay about a beloved black celebrity (look, I still believe MJ didn’t do it and there have been several things that have come up to support that, especially his psych profile, if they do the same for Cosby, I’ll wholeheartedly apologize. From what I’ve read/seen, Cosby has the PERFECT profile for a rape predator, though. It is what it is.). Sometimes, you just have to accept that someone ain’t shit, allegedly.